Gilhoolevisms 


o07.r(3         r» 

Gilhooleyisms 


GILHOOLEYISMS 


&YLOR{><iIlHOOLEY 

(FREPER1CKH.  SEYMOUR) 


AUTHOR    OF 


PICTURES  ^T.  FLEMING 


NEW    YORK 

FREDERICK  A.  STOKES  COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS 


Copyri.-'lit.  1 -!«•,.  utn->.  ifiifi.  1001 
BY    FKKDKinCK    HKNKI    SKV.Morii 


ill  October,  19T-* 


G1LHOOLEY1SMS 


hough  Truth  is 

mighty  .-it  often  emerges 

from  contact  with 

\ 
"sassiety" 

in  a  woefully 
\ 
bedraggled 

jr    \ 
condition. 


Jvhe  wise  cat 


never  waits  for 


the  second 

I*    ' 
bootjack. 


^ome  people 

are  so  anxious  to  be 
good  that  they  overshoot 
the  mark,  and  instead  of 

/ 

being  Christ-like,  they  are 
/ 

7  only  cranky. 


\ 


he  difference 
between  a  young  woman 
and  an  old  one  is  that 
the  young  woman  is 


.•1  i.  I     .  •  "•  ffr 

<Ji         'jn  pain  when 

i ,  ','•;/;  7    — i 

V     •/'•     / 

(     r 


having  pleasure,  fe 


in  pleasure  when  she  is 


the  rich 

th'emselves  know  how 
unhappy  they  are- 
no  one  else 
will  believe  it. 


to  quarrel, -/^ut  it 

o  -  '   '' 
is  well,  if  you  see 

that  ,your  enemy 

ti    ' 
$  going  to 

a§yance"on  you, 
to  save  him  the  trouble. 


who  can  tell  you 
\  \ 

how  to  write  poetry,  run  a  bank, 

:'i 
expound  the  law.  and 

a  fiddle  is  the  kind 


of  man  that  generally  ha 

to  borr6w  money  of  his 

friends  to  live  on. 


ociety 

does  not  expect 
you  to  be 


to  be. 


$3t'M£&j  \ 

^&        '•      '"-'^'S*^      :     ifo 
</$•  ^  1 


inhere  are  people  who 
accumulate  vast  stores  of  j;  ^ 

gloom,  and  then  mistake     ^<* 

™&*L 


it  for  sanctity. 


hat  rage  is  the  most 

dangerous     which          /     ."   ,   - 
is  the  most  silent.     l 


f  the  Angel  Gabriel  should 

)} 
vouchsafe  to  woman  a 

I 

choice  of  power, '-it  would 

?  «-X// 

|be  wise  former  to  ask  for 

/  ( 

the  power 'of  knowing 

I 

when  to  stop  talking 


^VV      J& bachelor  spends 

"  — 


A ' ':  < 


cannot  get  your  CeV* 

merits  recognized  by  calling    •'  /     \ 

\  —    v 

people's  attention    ±  *  ^        ', ',    •    , 
^."'\/'    -  •  to  them. 


JI  hasty  "No" 

-/I  y?  - 

1 

is  sometimes 


(vf-|,t  isan  extremely  devious 
^1     course  for  a  man  to  try  to 
"regulaTe'his  health  by  the 
information  ,in  the 
advertisements  in 
the  daily  papers. 


he  mj.!i  who  has 

notV.iriK  bi-itt-r  than  his 

' 
•  '  ancestors  to  boast  about 

is  like  ttit-  potato:   ''All  that's  gooci 
of  him  is  underground. 


he  worst  hurt  do  not 


cry  the  loudest. 


t)eople  who 
use  a 

magnifying  glass  to 
see  other  people's 

failings 
can't  see  their 


own  with  a  telescope, 


1    /A 'Cemetery,  is  a 
'    ''place  where  trie  epitaphs  v 

1       V 


on  the  tombs  above,  ^    , 
•about  ferre  who  )H@,bel 


-e'l^li^? 

v^f  5^*  l:i  ^^^t^'^/'"- 

!^r^^'  &jl%$rli$i&. 

r  •*>•** 
\«£'^ 


'v?5 

J£'ou  can't  avoid 

-^1^    •  •"  *'' 

0f*>*.        trouble     even  by 

minding  your  own 

business.    Look  at 
the  lobster!  ho 

doesn't  say 

anything  to    anybody; 

1 
yet  he's  always  getting  into  hot  water. 


past'  is  gone,  the  future  ^  _~=- 

J) 
hasn't  come,  and  the 

present  is  only  a  thing 

that  is  with  you 

\ 
it  should  make  you  feel 

as  if  you  should  start 
for  the  wood-pile  and  get 
busy  with  your    axe. 


f s  not  the 

"loudest  arnens 
that  get  the  Lord's 

ear  the  quickest. 


•      C~~^  ^~\-s.          ^ -• 

.  Tie'unloveliness  x 

of  a  bigoted^person_js  because  he 

thinks(that  everyone  who 
do,es  not  agree 
with  him  sTiould 
either  change 

.1 


f  ' 


'Ms  the  devil's  own  plan 

jr 

anyone      follows^vho 

tries  to  escape  misery 

,  , •V<""~K-  rfv';'  *^^ 

by  getting     more  of  it,-          ''^  >^®=7<%v^ 

-like  trying  to  'drown  trouble    ^'v^^-:1 

with  hard 

drink 

i'hen  a  young 

ij 

woman  becomes 


a  new  woman   x 
'there's  hope 

tor     her;    she 

[  I 

.may     reform. 


when  an  old  woman 
becomes  a  new  woman, 
there's  no  hope. 


is    a  great  difference    between 
-*%$• 
the  man  who    only  wishes  to  say 

j|f  ,v<;     something 


Sf 
£''/ 


,^$  f  Vw    >  •  ,,  ,        y»  f/~.&'4 

1tf*r^Il»^1 


P    ^^,r— /-.;      |     I     r 

}  F 

.'and  the  man 
who  has  something  to  say. 


|  Sum  the  hose 

Li    **" 

of  ridicule   on 
a  man's  enthusiasm, 

and  it  will  wilt  like  a 

starched 

^ 
bhirt-bosom  in  a    shower.  , 


c  '•. 


sy^-^&^V, 


en  supply  the 


K^«??£";   "X, 

\tfyH:./fj£tf^  •••:>,      * 


world  with  the  biggest ','  -  // 

^   i ,        .    -  jools;  hut  x  | 

i.  ..  '-  -•••/  1 

it   has  t.iken  a    woman  to 

make  each  one  of  them. 


foolish  for  strong 

young  men  to  damage 

I 
each  other  so  in  af 

scramble  over  a 
bag  of  wind. 


/*        NV//      when  they 


much 

some  poor  widow's 
"    "    •'    <•  wood-pile. 


at 


Vrnan  who  can't  sing  but      thinks 
he  can  is  no  bigger  fool  than  the  man  who  is 
always  talking    and  saying  nothing. 


P  he 

*;''-\* 


greatest  heraes'  are 

unknown. 


"If  lie  re  is  no  dog 

who   loves  to  bite 
better  than 
the  dog 

that  has  no 

teeth. 


ome  people  with  an  idea  are 

like  an  ass  bearing  a 

pole  with  a.  wisp  of  hay 

hung  in  front  of  his  nose- 

they  will  follow  au; 

what  they 
themselves 


carry,  until  they  are  lost 


he  woe-begone 
Author! 
There's  the  trouble 

he  has  to  write     /, 
anything  worth  printing 

14 

and  then  to  finti.ariy 
to  publish  it;l,:  but 

worst  of  all  is  to  get  the  people  to  read  it 


pflihe  colic  that  raises  a 

ruction  in  the  interior  of  a 

// 
•4'tDuke  has 

ifmany  points  of 

S^, 

resemblance  to  the  cramp 

in  the  newsboy  who  has 

\ 
been  trifling  with  gVeen 

^-N 

apples.    -5'6'fi" 


Sf-\\  /f 

(';i"-.{#he  hardest       // 

*1f         i-—y[y.^ 

J7  r- 

job  a  man  ever  tackled  is  to 

^ 
fry  to  convincefa)  & 

woman  against  \ 

•-  s      .^ 

•  •  •  her  will.  °  •  • 


;  music  will  cause    . 
•--;.- 

;-the  world  to  stop  its  ears 


jOme  ^..^^ 

women  never  learn  the 

great  difference  between 

conversation  and  talk. 


/     vv 

f  A  N 


/ebt  is  the       /T->, 

t      •  ' 

disturbing 

a 


that  perches  on    J*      V^. 


the  ridge-pole  of  your  — 

^  1-^"  -  ^      ^    -  ""*  ^  r  -  -~ 

/S  house  and  crows  loudest  - 

'&,/' 
lf.il          ' 

when  you  most  want  sleep 


he  living 

of  a  life  is  the  gaining  of 

"*  **'  'l 

experience;        {  "'. 
but  the  trouble  is  vlr-  .v 


in  the  time  you  £•** 


.vastc  in  gaining  exi^enences  that 
are  needless. 


f((Cj,).ome  people  show 
great  haste  in    parting 


with    the  innocence 

/ 

of    youth,  but  # 

(  ?"''•:••> 

great  slowness 

/  '(  '  ^ 

in     parting  ^        1 

% 

with  &4r 

,&:;*/:•,  ..;,-•         .5%.        : 

its    ";;":-:  tsl1  L  [5 

foolishness 


\  you    wish  to 
nicct  wiHi    clisast(;r,  try 
to  joke  with  a  stupid  person 


ij*fE;r~  'V   '  <    '-'  " 

-  •  a  woman    X  ,  .^. 


'.if"'  calling    herself 


^yflthe  epitaph  that  says  a 
man  did  much  good  and, 
some  ill,  is  much  to  be 
preferred  to  one    ^  .' 

that  says   -U--J  -^ 

-  '.  ";<;•  \-^ 

Ifte  did  nothing.  \f-:'W  .(u^ 

1          '    ••',%;/vi,VX?i  \;         .   DKf-''V|v|    'i'    <.;'/{• 


hat  he  -  -  =•• 
;     will  not  have  to  repent 
having  eaten  too  much  is 
no  consolation  to 


t  is  pleasant  enough  to 

endurefhe^tribulation 

that  comes 
\ 

\ 
in  the  shape 

of  a  beautiful 


J 


would  be  fewer  fo,Qls  if 
HMf  the  thought  were 

expended  on  fjljing 
fjjjj.J.        the  mind  that  there  is 
in  filling  the    ; 


regenerate  ^ 

V- 

mankind  on      / 


and  he  himselt 


would  bupply  it. 


things  come  to  him 


,  v 


-/ 


NOTED  ST. 


^-^^\-%:  ^ -/./''/  ,/-r:, 
^w/^  ''&%<•>  4^ 

MSp^^  ;.*^'S"?x?v  >Xr  ' 

^WttfcyJ '  ft "     ^  r  ,jT^^'  -^ 1; ' 

Tjjjffi/Ll '  I',  -  s~  "Sc  oud  PraVing 

!,      '*         /  ,      '.' :  ""4.      v,-.j* •       J   - 

!|  '//  and  psalm-singing  will  not 

help  your  credit  at  the    corner  grocery 


. 

ryin8" to  (lrive  {l~' 

V    wagon  of  life,  with  a 

;r 
/-'      single  mule  called  "hope" 

won't  get  you  there.    .,"'  <Y 


fine  vacation  for  a/*   ; 

:  f "'/,'.'.'  \      -:  -- 
discontented  woman  i  ,  ,  ..... 

would  be  a  few  days;> 

/ 

spent  in  thinking  over  the 
jnany  things  she  doesn't  want 


A  man  who  can  say 

V  \ 


things  in  a 

\ 


T 


CM -I  ><  i  >plt>  u  In  i  find 

thh>  \voi  Id  -•'>  u  i>  kcd 

I 
fight  the  h.ii  di  •  -1   ,iu  n 

It'avi ! 


' 


3^ 
''f  f  od  keep  the   home  where  it  is  (thought  torb;e,  more 

^necessary  to  have  a  ^,- 

piano  than    , 
good  /food. 


'    ,^  /I 

loudest  cries  of  hard  luck  | 

come  from  those  who      ffj 

"  have  destroyed 

) 
their  bodies  with  drink,    " 


their  reputations  with 
disgrace,  and  their  minds 

^j"--.,. .:,.,..-•  j  with  want. 


here, are  people  who 

make  themselves  so 

^--"'"ridiculous,  living,  that 

they  are  not  forgotten 

„  when  dead. 


hile  thinking  of 
the  good  times  coming 


/^      that  you 


1  V 

may  enjoy  them  all  the  sooner 


he  reward  of 

ill  nature  is  the 


everybody  laughs  wht 

you  slip  on  a  banana 
peel 


i  to  whistle**^ every  time  they 


small  rat 

will  break  up  a 

sewing-circle 

as  quickly          bf£ 

f  ftf 

as! a  big  elephant^ 


withthe^  JSivto 

jim-jams. 


generally  hap'py. 


';;  :''he 

,          i  (  '  '  ii   ' 
•most  tired  people  are      x'.»»    {•<   w  & 

those  who  take  the  most 


'here  are    - 

people  who  get  so  busy 
preparing  for  heaven  that 

they  neglect  matters  here 
;  •       b,e],o\v. 


of  the 

greatest  mistakes  ever 

•• 
made  are  in  forming  an 

.").        "•     .opinion  on  too  short  an 

<y^>, 

..•  ^      >>    acquaintance,  f.    5 


ia-  'i 
I)  4 


\  scandal-monger  is  as  dangerous  as  a  tiger;- 

\ —    •• 


appearance  at  a 
•-7, /<..•   x-~y :'"••"'-'?   ~  -^ 

^-^--^V^-  W-i     distance;  when  it 
i    C-x^        JL    -     *c^,  \ 


A  man  to  make  a 

mark  in  the  world  must 

have  two  educations:  one 
he  gets  at  school,  the 

JSP,,,.,     ,/     *-   :  -   -  other  trom 
u» 

\    his  fellow  men. 

I 


n  modern 

education  every 

l  / 

young-one's 

think-tank  is 

I 

supposed  to  hold 

\ 

knowledge  that  can  be 

poured  into  it. 


\hen  a  woman  maintains 

for  ten  years 

that  she  is  only  thirty, 

\ 
out  of  respect 

for  the  age  of 

\ 
the  lie.  it  is 

i 
our  duty  to 

-believe  it. 


discreet  person 

will  never  interfere 

between  man  and 

wife-unless  both  are 

',        dead. 


fA:klJ^' 

%;-    MKM  W 


•*.-•_ 

a  fine  world  this  would 
be.  if  people  tried  half  as 
hard  to  get  into  heaven, 
as  they  do  to  get  into 


society! 


^ 


I  he  loud-talking 
man  i-,  like  an  a$s  I 

into  an  •••rinp.ty  barrel,  who 
mistakes  the  noise  he  makes  for 
p&ftififW^  ^  - , 


s:here  are  people 
oi,:-who  thank  the   Lord 
for  his  good 

will  in 
trying  to 
make  the 
world  good, 
but  prayerfully 
insinuate  he  is 
making  a  mess  of  it. 


*V: 


^m^^&K:^ 

V    '•'  ~1      '"-""..       «' J /L~    •-."'.'•'" 


-l^pls  a  remarkably 
"%,^      self-contained 

man  who    can 
kick  a  hat  with  a 
brick  in  it.  and  limp 
away  with  a  smile 
on  his  face. 


i:  ItMi  p,  that  thr  land  of  Tullilmnit 


vt'l'  t  lit1  d.i :  k   and   !( ii  bitldi;  i 


\  t's  the  dog 

m 

'  that  bites  without 
growling, 
that  hangs  on 
the  hardest. 


/        I   he  least  sinfulv^  x    •>   ,- 
seem  to  be  most  in  fear 
of  the  day 
of  judgment. 


Qume  reformers  are  like  the  big 
^J  bluebottle  fly:   buz/ing  and  threshing   around 
until  he's  tangled  in  the  curtain  and  bumps  his 
head  on  the  window, 

winding  up  on 

/ 

S       his  back. 

\\.aving   his  leg'- 
m  the~aTf  ancFpraying  torfielp 


i.  Riches,    Refinement,  and  Cpod      '   •'   :' 
Clothes  are  the    commencement  of  a 
gentleman;  but  they  won't ™> 
prevent 
Idleness    and 

Drink  from  '^  ^^^ 

being  his  finish. 


,  people  in  this  world 

J         -\ 

couldn't  take  a  joke  if 


/'*:      j  J3 
*  l 

.1   -\ 


c'andal  is  like 
a  ^tea—the  more 
you  seek  to 

locate  it, 

,£% 
the  more  it  V-^'/ 


will  travel, 
and  the  harder 
it  will  bite. 


Tome 
*^%pedple  will  ask  for  advice. 

_.and  then  get  mad  if  it 
doesn't  suit  them. 


J-Aig-; ' 


,, 

•'J'JM^ven  sPend  the 

V*??/r, 
latter  half  or  their  lives, 

nursing  ills  brought  upon 

them  by  their  ignorance 

in  the  first  half. 


u 


fft 


man  can  never 
gain  the  favor 
of  a  woman  by 
arguing  with    her. 


who  raise  their  voices  in 
prayer  to  tell  the  Lord 
how  insignificant 
are  would 


y/V, 

be  terribly  worried  if  they  thought 
they  would  be  believed. 

o  get  a  reputation,  all  you  need  is 

to  do  something  that  nobody  else 

,   o,  has  done,  no  matter 
<¥'-V          hovv  foolish. 


hat  bird  with  the  most 


doesn't  always 

sing  the  sweetest. 


here  is 


'.  as  much  agony 
m  the  grief  of 

''a  well  thrashed  schoolboy 
in  that  of  a  man  who  has 

lost  his  million* 


,  here  are  people  who 
_  d. 

1  are  only  able     , 

to  see  one  side  of  a 


he  old  (|abb]eg  sitting  on 

hotel  verandahs  "at  the  resorts  are  so  worried 

about  other  people's  faults  that  they 

\ 
,have  no  time  to  think  of 

:£heir  own. 


— 

•won't  be  in  it  with  the         -{-•:  .=*.•" A 

-•        h 

man  who  devises  a  way 
to  put  good 

advice     ^- *" 
beneath  the  hides  of 
people  dying  for  the  want  of  it. 


.  -    ,,  the  man  in  need 

-   of  plain  advice, 
•„;'  sometimes  a  good 

beating  will  do 
*£  .•        more  good  than 
a  sermon. 


-L     / 

he  man  refusing  to  look  at 
-<~~- 
the  other  side  of  a 

question,  in  an  argument, 
is  like  a  orie-eyed  man 
trying  to  aim  a  gun  with 
his  blind  eye. 


f  ou  will  make  an  angry 

If'"; 

i<-    woman  madder  by  only 
listening  to  her  than  by 
answering  her. 


he  man  who  said 

that  figures  won't  lie 

-     never  saw  a  society 


baseball  team  is  an  aggregation 


fSf^" 

•£•-  '   of  illiterate  gentlemen 

from  all  parts  of  the 
earth-to  whom  the 
local  cranks  delight  to 
allude  as  "we." 


rt 


[llreaching  is  the  art  of 

1-- 

rdispensing;.  the    - 

gospel  in 
a  ^manner 

to  entert?LJn 
and,  a-i 

same  time, 

not  to  offend  wealthy  pew 

owners. 


\S 


p  here  are  women, 
1    who^remjnd 
,  one -of  angels- 

/ because 

(  C '  N 

\  they  are  so  different. 


how  angry  he  is. 


when  in  a  peck  of 

:    trouble:- -he  thanks 
I   the  Lord  the 
j     peck  is  not  a    bushel, 
and  climbs  out. 


•  t  is  a  bright  woman   ~*i 
knows  when  to  stop    l! 
talking  but    where  will 
that  jewel  of  the  sex  be  — " 
found  that  knows 
enough    not  to     -t.a.. 
commence  at  all? 


as  he  who.  alter 
carrying  the  hod 


mm. 


sun.    ctt  the 
behest  of  his 


^41%^ 

mother-in-law  walks  the  floor  all  night 


with  the  baby,  without  a  protest 


rolling  stone 
gathers  no  mossVbut  it 

^>^' 
may  become  beautifully 


M  here  is  a  note  of 

w*W'V  > 

anguish  in  the  singing  of 

si 

the  singer  who  cannot 
sing-to  the  listener. 


X 


reserve  us, 
from    the    bore 
who    can't  sing  but 
who  agonizes  us  by.',..  '. 
continually  trying. 


It's  an  unhappy 
household  where  all 
the  smiles  are  dispensed 
in  society  and'all  the 
frowns'  at  home. 


ny 

man  in  society  who  can 
make  a  fool  of  himself  in 
a  new  way  will  find 


call  him  great. 


/' 


JBSffe 

*=•  •  /    ,    ^5*    v*?*^  .  ^    'it 

any    sacrifice  rather      %^S,*^« 

^1^'kJp 
than  deny   themselves 


momentary        c./^*" 

enjoyment, 
find  '.hat  the    future  1i,is 
!on!v  trouble  in  store  for  them 


fairly  tearing 
his'n'ails  out  to  make 
money  for  some  worthless 
son  to  i^waste' should  be 
punished    in  the  hereafter 
\  by  being  compelled  to 

twist  a  rope  of  hay  for  a 
jackass  to  eat  as  fast  as  twisted. 


f]t  often  happens 

l!   tS  * 

that-you'll  accuse  IT1: 


someone  else  of 


fooling  ,you  When 


you  are  only  deceiving  yourself. 


fool  can  do 

more  harm  to  himself 

with  a  pen  ..than  with 
poison. 


^irie  raiment  and  jewels 
serve   very  well  to  certify 
to  the    refinement  of  some 

women,  so  long  as  they 

)    )      '•• 
don't  speak   y   //-  •//  '•> 


•$  $t'"'f*-*<-:-4$^ '"'  ^ 

•im;^w\i 

Vwill  cryywith  dismay  at      %fe 


p  woman 

•    ' 


ff        '    > 
seeing  an  insect    destroyed, 

and  then  calmly 

x-T-,  l    1 

ff 

keep  a  lover  on 

the  gridiron  of  doubt"      for  a  week  - 


rooding  over 

trouble  won't  lighten  it; 

the  best  thing  to  do  is  to 

go  to  the(cornfie|dj 
and  hoe:  till  your 

mind  clears 
itself. 


'r^^^r^fc.s  ^x          ^f&---^---     •  -  -  •  •  I 


>v|f  you   feel  obliged 

;    to  say  anything,  say  it 

''-'* 
before;  the  words  that        />,      r^/~, 

M . 

come  after  are     K  ot  no    $[':~  '-^\ 

'  T->  --,:^ 

account. 


\.i 


fc 


ome  of  the  biggest  asses  in  the  world 
"are  to  be  found  among     the  rich:  the  only  use 
they  make  of  their  wealth   is 


to  convert 

\ 

themselves 
/ 
into 


^J^^l^r^X^ 


any  a  man  has  strained  his  constitution 

v  \*?r         \/      x 

K  x  / ;     hi'.      ^ 

for  ten  years  to  get  a  reputation  for  character, 


. 

and  lost  it  all  in  ten  minutes'^  in  an  ill-natured 

\ 

row  with  a  woman, 


V 


m 


full  'piQp'se  and 


\       an  empty  head  soon 
"    '  change  conditions. 


"a  good  fallow"  into  "a  poor  devil." 


ot  the  early  riser,  but 


he  who  gets  the  best 

sleep,  wins  the  worms. 


Tr 

Jj,ying  is  a  fault  children  are 

licked  for  when 

<  'NN 

,;.     young, 


&N^»V- 

'      ;1 

u  ^ 


and  an  art 
which  they  cultivate 
when  old. 


•;p' 


a  man  commences  to  toboggan 
down  the  slide,  of  misfortune- 
his  neighbors  will  'greasB  the  way, 
and    kfirrd  strangers  will  assist 
his  relatives  to  give 

him   a  plgsjai. 

& 
« 


m. ,  \>^  '/^  '.^  --m* .4 ,' 


'vfj  reserve  us  from  the 
>      bore  who 

\"  discourses  to 

.*"•       --w 
us  upon  his 

iljs-just  where 
his  aches  are. 
and  just 
what  his  pills. 


T*  • 
here  are  pe< 


^sarcasm  is  a  sword 
& 

without  a  handle. 

She  who  wields  it 

must  have 
a  care  that    she 
herself  be  not  cut 


po  be  a  great 
man  ik  not  like 


.where 
\  \ 

• ''          there's 'only 

k     'X  ) 


and    no  ants  to  gel  in;  the 

V. 


d> 


'i-\  jjo  starve^t  a  well-filled  table;  to  have 
music  seem ''tedious,  and  /     ,._ 

Vconversation    tiresome; 


to  have  wealth    become  a 


fool  enough  to  labi/se  it. 


.     - 

/ill;///     "  P     i 

people  '   % 

'"  " 


are  like  soap 

*-*w 

bubbles-attractive  when 


first  seen;  but  when 

you  try  to 
,    x;grasp  them!— 


'!_|'  here  are  about 

^    ^-i    JW       twenty-eight 
I'll  7    fill®' 


GRH'l'E 


*.--•-  hundred 
3i    kinds  of  disease 
,;,l<    for  you  to  die  of; 
•  and 


U 


each  one  has  a  favorite    microbe 
to  get  a   waiting  whack  at  you. 


?•;  he  genius 
does  one  th'ing 
too  welliand  other 


1 


'things  not  well  enough. 


realize  that  they 

turn  their  religion  into  a 

gloomy  farce  by  depriving  it 

of  its  cheerfulness. 


does  not  know  rnuch  it  is  well 


-  hen  a  man  confesses  he 


to  boasting  of  their  ignorance.  ,_ 


-^.1  je    quick, 
but  don't  hurry! 
ij(  >';"' ;/Remember,  when 
f<f      you  have  done  a  thing    well,  then 
you  have  done  it  quickly  enough. 


I've      learned  to  tell  by  the 

Xv  "^ 
^-quality/of  her  cooking 

(  >   /      5 

just  the  condition  of  the 

»-*—• ^          _N>_ 
cook's  mind 


here  are  plenty  of 
sharp  men,  but  there  is 


none  that  ever  lived  that 


!    Jf 

-  •  i.U'V;/1 

;li^ 
'-IP 

'•  L"   j 


"V 


Ljfe^Mw. 

o  ,.  /  -*^   (/  am.'-:^.     -*~ 


_-•'  /*••' 

there  is  many  a    ^  -v 

;<-marTin  this  world//  // 
of  whom  you       ,  ;,^'/  - 
can  say  that  the  ,    jy  V 

only  value  he  ~/w'  ~^~~f;>V  ,;  \ 

/  /1_J     ^''V;    •  \ 

has, is  to  make/.// 


a  crowd. 


ometimes  the  ill  will        4^ 

•^x    V'"*"^ 


favor  of  a  wise  man. 


J-  ''blessings  come  to 

as  misfortunes 


I  hey  say 

*  vthe  lastVhmg a'woman  does  before  getting  into 


bed  is  to  look  under  it- yet  if  she  finds^something 

i  ^   __55r— 3 

she  is  not  only  disappointed  but  surprised. 


c;^: 

»*«-.,..«        ,^V-:V^       • 

^'%tffp 

^     r"~ 

#•*•-"  x  I 

n^omen  are  tine  linguists- 

H       ~\"'  t  •  ' 

\    V       ,<A'a  ftjw  of  them  in  several  languages. 

All  the  rest  are  fine  enough 

in  only  one. 


fT'\he  world 

&&• 
is  a  queer  place,       / 

where  blockheads 

win  renown,  / 

/(/ 
fools  get  riches, 

and  honest  men  starve. 


True  religion  is  the  art. 

,of-being  sincerely 
"A 

good,  without  being 
ridiculous. 


001436710    6 


